I've been trying to learn Italian for three years. I've downloaded apps, started courses, made flashcards, and set reminders. I was committed to a daily practice. But I could barely string together a sentence.

However, when I swapped out the apps for movies and started labelling items in my house with the Italian word, something magical happened. I started remembering and soon I was using those words instead of their English name.

Same brain. Two completely different results.

What's the difference? One felt like learning. The other felt like playing.

The learning lie we've all internalised

Somewhere along the way, we absorbed this idea that if you want to learn something, you need structure. You have to have discipline, dedication, and a proper curriculum.

You need to:

• Set clear goals

• Create a study schedule

• Track your progress

• Push through when it's hard

• Measure your improvement

Basically, treat learning like a project. Make it serious and systematic. In other words - work. And if learning doesn't stick? Well, you just need more discipline, better systems, and stronger willpower.

Who can resonate with that?

But over the years I've realised that this entire framework is backwards. The reason most adult learning fails isn't because we lack discipline. It's because we've stripped all the play out of it.

How children learn everything

Watch a toddler learn to walk. They don't have a walking curriculum or set smart goals. They don't track their daily step count.

They just... try. Fall. Try again. Fall differently. Laugh. Keep trying. It's playful. Experimental. Low-stakes. Joyful. It works. Every single child learns to walk, usually within months.

Now watch that same approach applied to language learning. Children don't study grammar rules. They don't memorise vocabulary lists. They don't do exercises.

They play with language. Make up words. Use things incorrectly. Try out sounds. Copy what they hear. It's messy. It's inefficient by adult standards. It's completely unsystematic. But -they become fluent in 2-3 years, often in multiple languages simultaneously.

Meanwhile, adults spend years in language classes and can barely order a coffee. The difference isn't about brain capacity. Children's brains aren't 'better at learning.'

The difference is approach - they play while we work.

What happens when you try to work at learning

Let me tell you what happens when I approach learning as work. I set a goal: 'Learn Italian in six months.' I create a plan: 30 minutes daily practice. Complete one lesson per day. Review flashcards.'

• Week 1: I'm motivated. I stick to the plan. I'm making progress!

• Week 2: It's getting a bit tedious, but I'm disciplined. I push through.

• Week 3: I miss a day. Then two days. Then a week.

• Week 4: I feel guilty. I restart. I commit harder.

• Week 6: I've stopped entirely. I'll 'get back to it' when I have more time.

Sound familiar? Who has tried this?

This is what happens when learning feels like an obligation. Your brain resists it because your brain doesn't want to work more. It's already working all day. Learning-as-work feels like overtime without pay.

But when we turn learning into play? That's different and that’s where magic happens.

The day I stopped trying to learn

Here's what happened with the Italian. I wasn't trying to learn, I was just curious.

I'd be watching an Italian film and hear a phrase that sounded beautiful: 'What does that mean? Why do they use that word there?’ So I'd pause and look it up. Not because I had to but because I wanted to know.

Then I'd hear it again in a song or see it on a menu and think: 'Oh! That's "la dolce vita"!' and I'd feel pleased with myself for recognising the phrase.

I wasn't following a curriculum and I wasn't trying to master Italian grammar. I was playing with language, following my curiosity and collecting phrases like a game. Delighting in recognition and somehow, almost accidentally, I learnt.

The words stuck because my brain wanted them to stick. It was pleasurable to know and fun to recognise.

There was no pressure or test. I didn’t have a goal. I was curious and that's what we cal playful learning.

The three elements of playful learning

After paying attention to when learning actually works for me, I've noticed three elements that are always present.

1. Genuine curiosity (not obligation)

Playful learning starts with 'I wonder...' not 'I should…' If you're learning something because you think you should know it, it's going to feel like work. Even if it's good for you and it's a valuable skill.

When you're learning something because you're genuinely curious about it, your brain is already engaged. The motivation is intrinsic.

The question isn't 'What should I learn?' It's 'What am I curious about?'

2. Permission to be terrible

Playful learning requires being willing to be bad at something. This is where most adult learning fails. We expect ourselves to be competent and we're embarrassed to be beginners. Plus we hate looking foolish, right?

So we only learn things where we can progress quickly. Or we learn in private where no one can see us struggle.

But children don't care about being bad. They expect to be bad and enjoy being bad because getting better is part of the game.

When I was learning Italian, I got so much wrong, I’d even mix up languages and say something in Spanish instead. But that was funny, not frustrating. Because I wasn't trying to be an expert. I was playing.

3. Learning through doing (not studying)

Playful learning happens in context, not in preparation. We've been taught to study first then apply. Learn the theory, then try the practice.

But play works backwards. You do the thing, badly, and figure it out as you go. When we learn through doing it becomes embedded in the experience, not separated from it. That's why it stays with us.

What this looks like in practice

So how do you actually apply this? Here's what playful learning looks like for different things:

Learning to cook

Stop following recipes exactly. Pick an ingredient you're curious about and experiment. What happens if you cook it different ways? What does it taste like with different spices? Play in the kitchen. Make disasters. Discover flavour.

Learning a creative skill

Stop taking courses. Just make things. Badly. Every day. Learn what you need to know AS you need it. Let your projects teach you.

Learning about a topic

Follow your curiosity, not a syllabus. Read what interests you. Watch what fascinates you. Let one question lead to another. Go down rabbit holes. Trust your tangents.

Learning a physical skill

Stop drilling technique. Just play with the activity. Notice what feels good. Experiment with different approaches. Let your body figure it out through repetition and joy.

Notice the pattern? In every case, you start with doing. You play with the thing. You learn through experience, not in preparation for experience.

The question that changes everything

Here's the question I now ask myself about learning - How can I make this feel more like play? Instead of

• 'What's the most efficient way to learn this?'

• 'What's the proper method?'

• 'How do I master this quickly?'

Just simply 'How can this be more playful?'

For Italian, that might mean:

• Watching Italian TV shows and trying to guess what's happening (instead of studying grammar)

• Making up silly sentences just to practice word order (instead of memorising phrases)

• Talking to myself in Italian whilst cooking dinner, even though I sound ridiculous (instead of waiting until I'm 'good enough')

Will this be the fastestor most efficient way to learn? Not at all. But will I actually do it? Yes, and doing something playfully beats not doing something properly.

Your brain already knows how to do this

The powerful thing about playful learning is that you already know how to do it. You did it as a child and you've done it as an adult whenever you learnt something purely out of interest.

You don't need to learn a new method. You need to unlearn the idea that learning requires suffering.

Play is your brain's favourite way of learning. Trust and use that. Enjoy it.

What happens when you do is almost magical, you start learning things easily, retaining information naturally, and—more importantly—actually enjoying the process.

Learning stops being something you force yourself to do and becomes something you can't help but do - Because it's not work anymore, It’s play.

Join the conversation

I'd love to hear about your experiences with playful learning. What have you learnt 'accidentally' through curiosity? What happens when you try to force learning versus when you let it be playful?

If you're exploring how to bring more play into your life—whether it's learning, creativity, or just daily joy—come join me in The Creative and Playful Life Facebook community. It's a space for people who are remembering what it feels like to be curious, to experiment, to learn through play instead of pressure.

I’d love to see you in there.

Join the Creative and Playful Life here.